6 Closet Heroes of Literature

1. Roland Deschain. The character of Roland emotes is one of the most solid, forged from steel, stick to his guns, meet his goals characters in any fictional series. Stephen King’s description of Roland would make any mother proud to have him as her son and tell all the ladies at cribbage about his triumphs. Spoiler alert: that is, if he hadn’t accidentally shot his mom.

2. Huckleberry Finn.  Huck Finn was a boy who on the outside was rough and tumble, but on the inside had a heart of gold. He lived in the moment, thinking of survival and what was best for him and his mate, planning something he knew could get him in trouble, all while having the gumption to stand up to and escape his abusive father. And he plays a dandy of a girl when given the opportunity.

3. Boo Radley. Boo was a creep of creeps. Everyone feared him, even the reader. It was even a little creepy when he triumphed over evil to save the kids because nobody knew he was coming and he did it in such a creepy way. Everything about Boo screamed deranged.

3. Hermione Granger. Miss Granger was an intelligent and powerful force against the Dark Arts and eventually The Death Eaters. She was a brilliant witch and was able to keep her wits about her when faced with great stress and danger. She was a champion for the light during dark times. Any muggle would be proud to be her parent. And any muggle parent would be so happy to ship their know it all snotty daughter to wizard school where they no longer had to deal with her ramblings.

4. Hester Prynne. Despite being tagged with the Scarlett letter, Hester proved herself as a strong independent woman by mocking the punishment brought forth by The Man. She kept her secrets when telling would have explained so much and taken some of the heat off of her. Strong willed and wise of the ways. 

5. George Milton. Someone who did what was hardest to do to the person closest to him. What was best for everyone involved. Because sometimes your mentally challenged friend kills somebody and you need to tie up loose ends.

6. Benjy Compson. The only character who brought any sense to a very convoluted family dynamic. He was also born mentally retarded. He was the character who grew the most as a person throughout time, going from chaos, to a little bit less chaos. He never stopped bellering though.


6 Reasons to Believe in Aliens

1. Odds are with the house in a purely numbers game. Would you play craps with the odds against you being billions to 1? May as well spend your money on strippers if you’re in Vegas.

2. Sightings of unexplained objects seen in the sky. Any time aliens or UFOs are mentioned in any given group of people there is always that one guy who saw something one night in college. Always. So many individuals in the population have seen something their personal knowledge and logic can’t explain that the only explanation is the unknown. 

3. US cover ups of downed “weather balloons” and “experimental military aircraft.” On principle alone, when information is covered up or hidden, there’s something more at work there. Big brother has made so many attempts to hide what is happening. Knowledge about downed weather balloons isn’t so shocking or detrimental to the people that it warrants such secrecy.

4. Influences on world culture in ancient times. An outside entity that was able to influence cultures across the world in similar fashions cannot be reasonably explained. Such similar folklore and beliefs, although called by different names, has such similarity that the only explanation is the same influence. The only influence with the technology to travel the world to visit these societies is aliens.

5. Meet my grandmother.

6. Testimonials from people all over of their experiences with the grays. Their stories of what happened during their contact are so similar, even if people are afraid or embarrassed to share their entire story until someone else shares their personal experiences. The same things happened to so many people that it must have been the same contact.

6 Things to Do on a Blustery Day

1. Go for a walk in the wind. Feel Mother Nature blowing against your face. Get leaves stuck in your hair. Experience the outdoors even if it’s the urban outdoors. 

2. Fly a kite. Not just for kids. Given enough kite string you can interfere with satellite transmissions and air traffic control. Safety first.

3. Stay in. If it’s cold, under a blanket with a book. If it’s not cold, omit the blanket. Use the weather as an excuse to relax.

4. Listen to the wind howl. While you’re inside relaxing under that blanket, take a moment to hear the wind whistle though trees outside, blow against the buildings and howl in the air. 

5. Turn off the lights and tell ghost stories. The howling wind described in number 5 lends itself to a more creative ambiance than can be re enacted on a bright summers day.

6. Cuddle. This requires no explanation.